Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
