What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
