i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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