I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
