No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Vodka?
Forever.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
