I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
