And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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