he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So many bounce houses so little time
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
is it fun? or sober?
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