U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
