I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This baby is an asshole
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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