Banned from zoo.
Again?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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