This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
