the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
