3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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