talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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