Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
