I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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