Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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