he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
