On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
