I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
