If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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