Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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