she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it was like eating out sand paper
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
