i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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