i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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