I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
