So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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