you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
