Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
