i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
