I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
