atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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