I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Gay?
German.
Pity.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
