Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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