dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
okay pat passed out under dana's car
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you told grandpa to call you daddy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
