Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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