Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
