He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
