dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
