He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
