Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
