6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
