How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
