I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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