Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
