I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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