I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
