we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Help. Why am I so naked?
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