I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
