Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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