he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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